Define beauty.
Sharp nose, double eyelids, bigger eyes, slimmer waist, longer legs, slimmer arms, flatter tummy, smooth skin, fuller breasts, fairer skin and the list goes on.
Why would the majority believe the above traits constitute to being beautiful? Are we so influenced by the media that we failed to see more?
What about inner beauty? For example, personality, intelligence, grace, politeness, charisma, integrity, congruence or elegance?
I grew up being on the obese side, sadly I did not have much friends. Less to talk about MALE friends.
Female or male, we judged one another with looks. I was constantly teased and ostracized by friends in school. No inner beauty was considered when we were out making friends.
One particular Chinese New Year, I woke up and found out that I simply do not look good in any clothes.
And that was when I realized that I need to lose weight. ALOT of weight.
I started losing weight by controlling what I eat. Every single thing that I put into my mouth I had to think twice.
When everyone is eating around me, I had to tell myself that I am not allowed to eat.
In fact, I felt guilty that I am even chewing veggies.
Stress and guilt got into me so much that I started to throw up whatever I ate.
I was weighing 90kg and standing at 1.64m back in 2004 and by 2008, I was 52kg.
I looked into the mirror and I saw high cheekbones, flat tummy, slim legs and most importantly I did not have double chin.
Along with those, I had pale skin, I was lethargic and moody, and I started to slouched.
I had finally achieved my ideal weight but I feel empty. (Yes, it might be my empty stomach) But I can’t feel the satisfaction, because I still want to lose more weight!
And it suddenly strike me, when will it ever stop?
So, I started eating normally. I had my usual carbs, meat and even junk food. But I feel happier!
Although my size went from size 6 to Size 8 or 10 now, but seriously who cares? In fact, I love the fact that when I walk down on the streets I am different. I love my curves and rosy cheeks and I am damn proud of them.
And by the way, I wear the clothes, the clothes can’t wear me.
Cheers to any girls out there who are BIG, BOLD and BEAUTIFUL!
